Wednesday, November 26, 2008

An Early Holiday Gift: "The Mouth that Roared" (and Lies Remorselessly) is... Wired Shut!

In an absolutely delicious bit of karmic justice, it seems that Ann Coulter -- that right-wing talking points spouter, prolific regurgitator/author of absurd new books seemingly every other day, anti-progressive, anti-feminist (or is she just the anti-Christ?) -- has had her jaw wired shut. No, really -- wired shut.

Just in time for the holidays, boys and girls, we have all been gifted with a forced moment of silence from Ann Coulter -- something I didn't think was humanly possible. Better yet, the peaceful bliss could last as long at 5 whole weeks.

The word on the street is that Coulter fell down the stairs -- or was pushed? Okay, okay, that was not funny. Well, maybe a little... but truly, it's not like The Zaftig Redhead to wish bodily injury on anyone (well, except the assholes who cut me off on the beltway). But in this instance, I simply must basque in the irony... the cosmic realignment that has given us all a much needed reprieve. I can do that and still wish her a speedy recovery, right?

It also has gotten me thinking -- always dangerous -- that if Coulter can manage to get her jaw wired shut, rendering her blessedly mute throughout the holidays, what might the benevolent universe bestow upon Sen. Joe Lieberman (turncoat-CT) to balance the scales of justice in that direction? The mind boggles... and mine, at least, also cackles with glee.

On the downside, I do worry a bit about what dipshit theories and outright lies Coulter might plot, write, conjure, etc. while in her mandatory bubble of silence. All that pent up verbiage could kill someone once the wires are removed and she's free to spew again; police would do well to clear the area, and protect us all from her blind vitriol in the new year.

Copyright 2008. The Zaftig Redhead. All Rights Reserved.


Gunfighter said...

The problem, dear Zaffy, is that Coulter might have to keep physically silent, but what does that mean in the age of push button publishing.

Better her hands were broken, too.

ZaftigRedhead said...

Hilarious, GF. Bloodthirsty and mean, but hilarious. :) Shouldn't we be feeling at least a little bit guilty about getting such enjoyment from poor Coulter's misfortune? Um... Nope. Not feeling a bit guilty (sorry mom).