Thursday, April 17, 2008

This is Your Brain. This is Your Brain After an ABC Debate.

Philadelphia, PA (April 17, 2008) -- New research has provided scientific evidence regarding the damaging effects of non-substantive debates on the American viewing public.

According to a study released today by the Wonk's Television Forum (WTF), this week's ABC News debate between Democratic Presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama temporarily lowered the IQs of the majority of viewers. WTF’s research also showed that the IQ damage was actually more acute for those debate watchers who were registered Democrats.

Conversely, registered Republicans experienced a slight increase in their IQs the longer they watched the debate; however, the data showed this anomaly was quickly mitigated when these same viewers were exposed to Fox News.

WTF study participants who were forced to watch the entire debate may have suffered a more lasting drop in IQ, although further analysis will be required to determine the full effects. Researchers would not comment on any unanticipated emotional damage the experience may have inflicted on study participants.

WTF's study director noted, however, that the IQs of most viewers who escaped during the first 15 minutes showed a quick recovery once their exposure to the ABC News debate was terminated.

Lastly, researchers also found that registered Independent voters who ceased watching the debate during the first 15 minutes and instead read experienced a marked increase in their IQ; whether these effects are permanent, however, will not be known until November 4th.

While study participants were not paid for their time, each did receive a commemorative flag pin.

Copyright 2008. The Zaftig Redhead. All Rights Reserved.

1 comment:

Lalita said...

Zaftig Red. The Black Chick here. I tried to watch that "debate" on Wednesday but found myself losing IQ points.

"shoddy [and] despicable," "specious and gossipy," "cringe-worthy," "banal," consisting of "tabloid trivia," "flat-out repulsive," "embarrassing," "seem[ingly] slanted against [Sen. Barack] Obama," "shameful," and "an outrage."

That's how Media Matters summed up the temperature of the running commentary on Wednesday's Democratic Presidential Debate moderated by ABC's Charlie Gibson and George Stephanopolous.

It took the better part of an hour before questions of substance were asked and still, the candidates (hell, just Obama) were asked questions so stupid I could only think "we have a chance to ask someone who could be the next POTUS our questions, and we want to know about flag pins?!"

Couldn't tell if that woman (the chick with the unfortunate hairdo) was being serious or was looking for her 15 minutes a la brotha Warhol.

What it proved to be was an unfortunate metaphor for the current state of Washington politics: keep the American people focused on what's happening in the weeds and they've never see what we're doing right in plain sight.